Where we are right now

Right now we have two daughters, both biological: Anabelle (3 1/2 years old) and Rosemary (3 months old).

After having Anabelle, we went back and forth on what we wanted to do next, adopt or try to conceive again. We knew we would eventually do both, but what should we do first??? I was approaching 30 years old and, even though my own rock star mother had a child at 43, the risks for complication do go up with age.

So in May 2012, we opted to focus on pregnancy. My doctor had told me that getting pregnant often resets the hormonal imbalances that may have led to my original infertility so I may not need medication anymore. Yay! Let the baby making commence!

Six months later, November 2012, we still weren't pregnant, but we weren't discouraged either. I had only just started to have a regular measurable ovulation cycle (after a few years with an IUD it can take few months to regulate). Adoption still in our hearts, that month we attended our first adoption conference, Heart for the Fatherless. It was an absolutely amazing experience. We gained so much helpful information and it was really great to spend the day amongst people of the adoption community. It reaffirmed that this is a real thing that real people do, not just celebrities. You don't have to be rich (cue that one Prince song), or even infertile (not a Prince song), you just have to want to be a loving parent to a child.

You'd have to ask him for sure, but to me, this was the day things really clicked for my husband. He had always been on board with the idea of adoption, even before we had Anabelle, but I always wondered if he was just going along with it because he loved me. I'll never forget after the conference when he looked at me and said, "We're doing this. Why wouldn't we do this? Of course we're doing this!" He asked if I thought we should switch gears and pursue adoption instead. I had to smile. This is exactly how I had felt before getting pregnant with Anabelle. I was so glad he understood that feeling of just being so excited about it you don't want to wait. But we both agreed that our day would come and to stay our current course. Lucky we did, because two days later we found out we were pregnant! And on July 1st, 2013, we welcomed our second daughter, Rosemary Elena, into our family.

So right now, I am on maternity leave (the most glorious thing ever). I have about a month before I return to work (not the most glorious thing, probably the least glorious). Rosemary is such a sweet happy baby and Anabelle loves being a big sister. It has been so great to spend this time at home with both of them.

We knew we didn't want to wait long after Rosemary was born to begin the adoption process. I emailed a few agencies while I was still pregnant to ask how old our newborn should be before we began the process -- both responses said they preferred families take at least six months to settle in and bond with their new child as it's the best thing for everyone.

So right now we are having a bit of a wait. I am in full-fledged research mode, trying to learn as much about the adoption process and raising a child of adoption as I possibly can. Two of my favorite websites are Creating a Family and Adoptive Families.

We still have a lot of decisions to make....What kind of adoption do we want to pursue? Domestic? International? If domestic, do we go private infant or foster-to-adopt? If international, which country?! Each option has favorable and unfavorable aspects, so it all comes down to what matters most to you and what your vision is for your family.

Then we'll need to select an agency/attorney that services our area and does that kind of adoption, which to me is even more difficult. How do you know who to trust? I have been using some of my Vendor Due Diligence skills I picked up at work (thank you compliance culture!) to try to narrow down our options. More on all this to come.

So right now we are just enjoying Baby Rose, watching her grow and savoring this special all too short time when your kids are babies. And we are dreaming, of the future and the special child we are being prepared for, who, like our current kiddos, we are honored and privileged to parent.

That's where we are right now!